Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The phrase "don`t take this the wrong way" has zero % success rate
It takes a brave man to admit when his wife is wrong .
Fellas; There’s no heterosexual way of taking a selfie.
I think I`m approaching my "best if used by" date
Does Facebook have a “You’re not smart enough to be talking about politics” button?
I’ve been reading a lot about how to live and eat healthier and then not doing anything with that information.
If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.
According to my iPhone Health app, I walked 1,787 steps around this Golden Corral buffet tonight .... So I got that going for me.
You know nothing about a woman until she`s drunk and mad at you
If you’re that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
"Iyam A. Wii Todd" <-- Bet you can say that name out loud, in a crowded place, and really fast!
Girls are supposed to dance. That`s why god gave them parts that jiggle.
My Wife asked, "Would you like a romantic interlude?" I said, "Does a bear crap in the woods?". Wish I`d just said `Yes`, she`s been on Google ever since.
I`m great at balloon animals. You should see my eel, snake, and worm.
People who say they suffer from constipation are usually full of sh!t.