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My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.
"They Dared Me To" should be a legitimate excuse in a Court of Law.
I`m not sure what my spirit animal is, but I`m sure it has Rabies.
State of mind is in no mind to state its state of mind.
My wife let me remove all her clothes last night ... From the dryer
can be sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, welcoming, loyal, trust-worthy, forgiving, understanding, and giving. But not to today!
I`m going to start looking for the good in all people I meet this year. Except for the a$$holes.
The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone.
Eat breakfast: Check...Pay Phone: Check...Conquer the world: Still Pending...
I`m sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
The funny moment when a fat kid says "that`s how I roll".
I don’t appreciate the 5 minute radio ads about how commercial-free the station is.
Doc: ``Hows your headache ?`` Me: ``She`s at home``
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.
If you see me out somewhere and act like you didn`t, you should know that I ignored you first.