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I took a sexual harassment course yesterday...I think I`m going to be pretty good at it.
My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.
No one is more confident than a drunk girl wearing a guy’s hat sideways.
A fun way to give your man a little scare is to ask him, "Do you know what tomorrow is?" and watch the panic set in.
Ways to tell a woman is mad at you: 1. She is silent. 2. She is yelling. 3. She acts different. 4. She acts the same. 5. She kills you.
If its the thought that counts, then I`ve banged so many hot chicks.
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
I WON THE LOTTERY, SCREW YOU ALL! ... Sorry, just practicing
I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible.
To a musician, a g-string means something completely different than it does to me. .
Now that I think about it... Facebook became popular ever since I made an account.
The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday
I can`t take this long distance relationship anymore.. Fridge, you`re coming to my room.
I`m just amazed after all these years that we STILL haven`t seen Mario`s buttcrack.