Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I were a cashier I`d pretend people were waiting in line to kiss me.
If you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone you love, celebrate it with alcohol and pizza.
If you´re a millionaire and you don´t have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool, then you should just give me all of your money because you´re wasting it.
My girlfriend told me to grow a pear… What the hell does fruit have to do with killing this spider?
I love buying a $1 burger and getting $2 worth of mayo...
Nobody on television curses more than the Roadrunner.
Ladies, if you want men to look at your face and not your chest, eat a banana.
Since It`s summer here`s a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey
I`ve had enough of my neighbours blasting their music from their backyard. I`m not annoyed cause it`s so loud, i`m annoyed cause they`re Korean & they`ve still yet to play Gangnam Style!
I hate to be one of those who post cliffhangers but...
I don`t have a drinking problem. If anything, I`m TOO good at it.
Do short people start their childhood stories with "when I was little", too?
I don`t know about you, but I`ve thought about running away more as an adult than I ever did as a child.
Just saw a guy checking out my wife. Good luck buddy. I’m married to her and I don’t even have a chance.
I hate when I’m walking into the gym and the wind blows me into the liquor store.