Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Political debates are great if you want to watch idiots talk to us like idiots to prove that the idiot next to them is a bigger idiot.
Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.
The only time I use the word “selfie” is when I am describing my sex life.
I saw that! - Karma
My hand is stuck in a Pringles can. I`ll just leave it there. I`m not hiding who I am anymore.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until an intoxicated idiot runs face first into a sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
I bought a used UPS truck. It gets bad gas mileage but I can park anywhere.
If you’re having second thoughts, you’re two ahead of most people.
Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
Girl says to her Blonde friend, I slept with a Brazilian man last night. The Blonde replies: OMG you SLUT! How many is a Brazilian??
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
Fact: if you give your boyfriend a bj each time you act crazy, he`ll not only forgive you,but eventually be thrilled when you act nuts.
The only thing more amusing than someone leaving a voicemail is them asking if you actually listened to it.
I asked my wife if we could get a hot young nanny. Of course she got mad and said "No!". For one thing, we don`t have any kids...