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I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o
Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old`s lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
Nothing makes you feel more like a kid than the right breakfast cereal. Lucky Charms for me please!
Forecast for today: Unproductive with a chance of a late drinking session.
Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That`s why I think of jogging every morning.
If you´re a millionaire and you don´t have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool, then you should just give me all of your money because you´re wasting it.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same
You know nothing about a woman until she`s drunk and mad at you
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card.
I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.
Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.
I don`t have a drinking problem........I just celebrate everything!!! Like the fact that I have pants on, I`ll be celebrating that tonight.