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It`s what`s on the inside that counts... *Except chocolate covered raisins.
From this point on, all postings of pictures of waffles will be considered a personal invitation.
Its all fun and games until you realize your Capri Sun has no straw.
Dang girl,, Are you a Snickers bar? Because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly long lasting,, hold up,,,, are those nuts?
Never trust a person with only one Facebook photo of themselves.
for some reason my plans to workout never work out
Sticks and stones, break my bones, but hollow points expand on impact!
"Have you been drinking . sir?" asks the policeman. "Go Pikachu! Thunderbolt!" "Sir, did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
I was planning to do something today, but I haven’t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
The leading cause of divorce ? ... marriage
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
my neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning , can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...
Why is it when you take a break from Facebook everyone assumes you`re happy and in love ... Maybe I was in jail.
If ghosts existed, why are they all apparently from the last 100 years or so? Wouldn’t there be evidence of a Neanderthal ghost here and there?
Hello... Modeling Agency? Ya, my selfie just got 34 likes I think I`m ready to go pro!