Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If it’s called tourist season, why can’t you shoot at them?
If doing things was as easy as thinking about doing things I’d get a lot more done.
To the 84yo woman that won the $591 million dollar PowerBall, sup baby ;)
If I had a dollar for everytime I was distracted, look squirrel!
There are people in life you could NEVER get tired of hitting with a shovel!!!
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you’re a terrible person and had it coming.
You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout I`m telling you why...we have our own problems and nobody cares about yours.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Shouldn`t the Air and Space museum be empty?
At the urinal, please keep your eyes forward and your conversations limited to weather, sports or beer.
Hell hath no fury like a hungry me.
The only time I listen to a woman giving directions is when I use my GPS.
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.
That`s it!! I`m never drinking again until tomorrow.