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When I was a kid they didn`t call it "Behavioral Disorders", They called it "Being a little brat".
The larger the implants, the more likely she’ll be confused by a push/pull door.
Roses are red, violets are blue. If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
There`s no time like the present to make a positive change in your life ... or to take a nice nap
Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.
I don`t like thinking before I say something. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth
The wife and I never really argue except on where to vacation. I wanna go to the beach and she wants to come with me
Crazy people are never aware of their own insanity. I’m so glad I’m not a crazy person.
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain.
So I`m giving up drinking. Hard liquor. On Wednesdays. In June. Next year. (Maybe.)
I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don`t know how much I want. They don`t know my life. They don`t know what I`ve been through.
Sometimes I really want to throw paper at people. Brick shaped Paper. Made of brick.
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good.
Of course you have a right to your own opinion. Just like I have a right to tell you to shove it up your a$$.
I was standing in front of the mirror eariler, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge.