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Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus? At the end of the day I’m just a guy in a bikini on the bus.
If a bra is called an `over the shoulder bolder holder`, then what would you call men underwear? Under the butt nut hut
If you like to listen to music while having sex, listen to a live album. That way you will get an applause every 3-4 minutes.
I don`t care how much you like the soap. Never leave a public restroom smelling your fingers.
DRINK BEER SAVE WATER..www.godrunk.com
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
I`m bored, I think I`ll ask my boyfriend if I look fat. - women
How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
My haters only have one advantage over me. They can kiss my a$$, I can`t.
Didn`t have to do much to end my last relationship...she first told me that "opposites attract"...then a couple of days later she told me i was handsome, kind, smart, funny and loving...
Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they`re out of control.
“Make it rain” is the only appropriate response when asked if you want freshly grated parmesan.
funny status idea: a funny and popular one