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There’s a special place in Hell for people who call to see if you got their email!
For a minute there, I thought I had just wasted 60 seconds...
The Internet: An electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room?"
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
Hand dryers are a great way to see how your hands look while skydiving.
? Single ? Taken ? Depends on who`s asking.
I carry a yoga mat, but it`s only because I get sleepy after lunch
drinking 2% milk, wondering what the other 98% is...
It could be worse. Spiders could have wings.
When a girl says: "If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best"... What she really means is: "I`m a f*ckin psycho."
Doing some laundry and hot single socks in my dryer are looking for a mate.
I got in touch with my musculine side today - laying on the couch all day, eating gross food, playing games...
My life is based on a true story
Seriousley.. The cuntestents in the 2013 speling beee contast hafe too now no the meening of the werd thay hafe been axed too spell. I coud rock that contast so eesy :))))) eg. The meening of "Easy". Anser: a kids oven
Women say childbirth is the most painful thing... obviously they have never stepped on a Lego.