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Something I will never understand: Why it’s acceptable for people to be idiots but not acceptable for me to point it out.
I went to see a psychiatrist today. He told me I had a split personality and charged me $160. I gave him $80, and told him to get the rest from the other a$$hole!
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
No pornhub I do not want to share this video with my friends & family on Facebook
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
I`m single by choice. Not MY choice. But it`s still a choice
You know its a bad day when your fat pants are tight :(
Well after 6 months of my girlfriend nagging, I finally did it, I lost 120lbs ... I`m sure gonna miss her.
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
With names like "Batman" and "Robin", you`d think they could fly...
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else...
I woke up early this morning with the strange desire to get up and exercise. Fortunately I rolled over and closed my eyes really tight and the feeling went away.
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs at noon!
Shouldn`t old people drive faster than everyone else since they have less time left to waste?