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They call themselves independent women until furniture needs to be moved
I`ll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working...
You ever notice that the most dangerous thing about marijuana is getting caught with it?
18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
Facebook looks so boring on the outside, but once you start using it, its like NARNIA BRO!
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks I should skip work tomorrow.
I`ve never said "in all seriousness" and actually meant it.
Why Am I Sober? - A Horror Story
The only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance...
Warning: forgetting what pocket your keys are in may result in the Macarena.
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
REMEMBER: If you start to hear banjos, get the hell outta there!
Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they`re out of control.
Having the worst day ever. All traffic lights I passed were green so I had to stop on the side of the road to check my Facebook like some caveman.
I wasn´t born with enough middle fingers to show you how I feel