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I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
You can steal my status updates whenever you want, but just remember that I lick every single one before I post them...
Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for "hardcore poem"?
I`m really good at making poor decisions. You`re my favorite so far.
If I had any self control I`d probably eat that too.
You don`t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
I need to learn the rules to make sure I don`t accidently follow them
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
"Well, now I see how you came up with the word `Microsoft`." -Melinda Gates (on their wedding night)
I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related.
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
All through school I assumed they saved the number 1 pencils for the smart kids
What`s wrong with having your mind in the gutter all the time?! If it weren`t for the gutter, my mind would be homeless!!!
Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?