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I`m not feeling myself today ... would you do it for me?
If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I’ll be out sick.
Billy Ray Cyrus made a million dollars at a playgirl photo shoot. He just started taking his clothes off and they paid him to put them back on.
I`d try Taco Bell`s breakfast but I don`t start drinking that early.
What`s the lowest IQ someone can have while still being a relatively full functioning adult? My wife wants to know.
I’m the kind of girl that would eat Doritos on her wedding day & accidentally wipe her hands on her dress.
FYI: Push-up bras don`t actually help you do more push-ups :(
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
Heat causes things to expand, so I`m not fat; I`m just hot.
Dating someone based only on looks is so shallow. Consider other things, like, do they have a lot of money.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
Nothing is more heartbreaking than unappreciated sarcasm!
Mary Had a Little Lamb, Little Lamb, Little Lamb. Maybe she wasn`t that hungry.
Home: The place where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.