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Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
It`s the simple things that make me laugh....mostly you.
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "Also, you live next door."
I think the guy who invented the word kumquats should have gotten to name more stuff!
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
I bet Snowmen think it`s weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin.
anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn`t matter what. I just need something to drink to.
You can`t be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn`t work that way...your already hard to want
I don’t have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve.
At this point Washington DC is basically just an elaborate promotional stunt for Grand Theft Auto V.
If the shoe fits, shove it further up their a$$
If my jokes offend you: 1. I’m sorry. 2. It won’t happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. 4. You’re a wussy.
The best part of winter coming is that all the bugs are rotting in hell where they belong.
If you`re confident enough, every zoo is a petting zoo.