Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some things get in the way of my happiness, so I ignore them.
People who help you find what you are looking for in a liquor store should be called "Spirit Guides."
If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!
Beer doesn’t have that many vitamins in it…that’s why you have to drink a lot.
You`d think he`d be better at this with all the porn he watches
I overheard this guy bragging about his fancy hotel sweet. Ptttsht. They are nothing but cheap a$$ mints!
People complain about auto-correct but it is helpful 99% of the titties.
Making fun of someone you`re angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead
It`s been discovered that 1% of the population is allergic to Gluten. The other 99% are sick and tired of hearing about it......
I`m old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
Male camel toe? Dude that`s just nuts.
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
I finished your laundry, the ashes are in the fireplace.
How many days in a row do you have to wear the same clothes until you’re legally a cartoon?
It`s spooky how many kids look like their owners.