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I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
“Until death do us part” means we’re all single in heaven, right?
The Great Wall of China has brought more foreigners than it has kept out.
people say i talk in my sleeep , but no one at work seems to notice
Bend over and take it like a taxpayer.
"are you as bored as I am?" if you read that backwards, it still makes sense.
I’m old enough to know what’s bad for me and young enough to do it.
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
You know what they say about men with big feet ;)..........We always have trouble finding shoes that fit.
I`m not saying I`m out of shape but I just stretched, got winded, and need to lie down
Sometimes I wish I was a nicer person but then I laugh and continue my day.
I`d like to give you a big thumb`s-up. But I`m afraid that would be the wrong finger.
If someone farts at a poker tournament, no one will ever know who did it.