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I`m one more bottle of wine away from starting a blog.
I`ll show up at the gym when they put in a drive-thru.
I hope to get to the point in my life where I`m not excited about finding change on the ground.
Sorry, I didn’t get your message because I deleted it without listening.
It`s so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office being on Facebook.
Somebody told me I`m horrible with names.
So if a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should we trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
Facebook: The only place where you get excited when strangers follow you.
From all these shows I`ve watched it seems like snipers lay down a lot of the day....I`d probably be pretty good at that job.
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D
Step aside coffee… this is a job for booze.
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......
This spider just got away from me because I made the classic villain mistake of telling him my whole evil plan before killing him.
The best part of being a kid is probably saying, f*ck it. I`m going to be Spider-Man today.