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If I told you I loved you, would you believe me or just stand there freaking out about me being in your closet?
I like to respond to statuses with .. WOW, Someone needs a Happy Meal.
The real reason I`m not a superhero.... Pockets, I need my pockets.
"Of course you`re the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder" - alcohol
Procrastination is a dish best served eventually.
Don`t forget to turn your clocks back today if you want them to be set to the wrong time.
There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no coffee. And without coffee, I`ll kill you all.
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really really fast :)
Google must be a woman...it knows everything.
If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they`d have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.
No one answers their phones anymore... If I ever get arrested, I don`t want a damn phone call, I want a facebook posting.
I`m trying to lose weight by eating carrots and bran muffins. It`s a fiber-optics diet.
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.
"it`s the thought that counts" doesn`t include showering. You have to actually do that.
The saying, "Say no to drugs" has always made me laugh. If you`re talking to drugs, it`s probably too late to say no to them.