Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I swear I just go to the strip club for the music.
They’re called scents, not flavors, I should not able to taste your perfume or cologne.
In a weird twist,,, The longer I stay at home,,, The more homeless I look.
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
Step One: Always have a solid alibi.
What can I do today that is only going to happen once in a blue moon?
My resolution for the New Year is to find more situations where it`s acceptable to wear a bathrobe out in public
is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I´m awesome..
We all have faults. It`s just that mine are better than yours.
Karma takes too long ..... I`d rather beat the sh%t out of you.
I keep hitting the escape key ... But I`m still here.
I`m a very modest person, mostly because I`m awesome.
Sometimes, I think I`m a genius. Then I realize I`ve already seen this episode of Jeopardy.
Cocaine dealers are always trying to stick their business in other people`s noses.
Don`t tell me to make myself at home if you don`t want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.