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Why didn`t you tell me that I wasn`t going to like you
why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
I`m gaining weight for my role as "Before picture"
Yeah, I was dropped as a baby. Into a pool of sheer awesome.
I’m too young to be too old for everything.
Getting stuff out of my refrigerator is like playing Jenga.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until some drunken idiot walks face first into a closed sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
Id explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me.
Don`t mistake my middle finger as an offer.
When I grow up I wanna be a psychiatrist for the mentally insane...so i can find out what the hell is wrong with you people
Haircuts are great because I did none of the work but get all of the credit.
To hell with the "dislike" button! i think we need a "who cares" button, a "WTF" button and a "STFU!" button. just saying.... Oh and a "lol" button because i just get tired of writing it! lol!
I don’t care if it’s 1 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
I just had Déjà vu...and you were an asshole both times.