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I`m sorry did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn`t know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won`t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I’m making important life decisions.
I don’t know what my neighbor’s name is and we’ve been neighbors too long for me to ask.
The nice thing about being a guy is your underwear only costs $10 for a 3-pack.
Giving people the finger while driving just isn`t effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles... game on!
Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. You know…like Thursday.
I’m posing nude for an art class this evening. Nobody asked me to. I think they’re making ceramic bowls.
Make librarians cry by calling it a Book Museum while taking pictures with your iPad.
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?
For just once in my life I want my phone to ring and for someone on the other end to ask if I`m on a `secure line`
My whole life is based on a true story...
Facebook ~ redefining "friendship" one booby pic at a time. ;)