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Summer is here. I`m in the process of moving all my bad habits outside.
Beheaded our snowman to let winter know we mean business.
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance…the five stages of me hitting the snooze button in the morning
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science
If there is one-thing in this would i don`t like being thought is ... a lesson.
If weed is ever legalized, I can`t wait to see the commercials...
People who copy and paste jokes from other’s status messages are idiots…A few seconds ago • Like • Comment
The only exercise I`ve done this month is running out of money
To-Do List : Nothing[?]
Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I`m pretty sure she`ll figure out that I`m just after my money
I sure do feel a whole lot more attractive at WalMart than I do at the gym.
People who peel the entire banana before eating it must be the same ones who take off all their clothes to go to the bathroom.
I only get religious when scratching off lottery tickets.
What doesn`t kill you, makes you stronger... except for lions, lions will definitely kill you.
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butt’s.