Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
For all those girls that say `all guys are the same` ... Who told you to try them all? Hoe.
Instead of going to couples therapy, married people should just join tinder and see what a nightmare single people have to deal with.
Honking your horn won´t make them go any faster, but at least they´ll know that you´re an asshole.
is a mystery you´ll never solve
Whenever I hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded I do one of my raps because I`m too poor to pay for studio time
I think God created marriage so death wouldn`t come as such a disappointment.
I’m not getting old. I’m becoming a classic.
If there`s one thing I`ve learnt in life it`s to stay clothed during sensitive conversations.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember all the things I was suppose to do.
I fold down my laptop screen very slowly at night so I don`t squish you guys.
LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you`re on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up
Imagine my disappointment when I discovered a "Booby Prize" really wasn`t boobies at all...:(
Two things everybody wants: 1) Lose weight. 2) Eat.
Sorry I hung up on you, I didn`t mean to answer the call.