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If you are offended by the things I post on FB you can only imagine the ones I don`t post.
Got kicked out of the hospital. Apparently the “head nurse” is just the one in charge of the other nurses.
Why do crutons come in resealable bags? Are we really worried about them going stale?
My phone just changed, `calendar` to `cake radar` and now I really wish I had that.
I`m not crazy, I`m just special!!...No, wait...Maybe I am crazy. One second...I have to talk to myself about this, hold on...
Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their GODS lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
#1738 "The fact that people use the wrong "your" and "there" yet spell "Bieber" correctly bothers me."-dd
We`re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap...
My girlfriend told me I`m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman... What a joker!
"This isn`t my first rodeo" -Guy at his second rodeo
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective.
What`s the hold up on making extremely heavy shoes for toddlers so they can`t run around so much?
If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself.
If you would`ve told me back in 1999 that we`d still be using animated gifs in 2015, I would`ve said "Wow, what a boring conversation"
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so f**k it!