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Honestly, I have no idea what the f*ck I`ll do with 5 hours of energy.
I wonder if angry people know about naps?
I just burnt my tongue on my food. It made me realise that it’s the ones we love that hurt us the most.
I just want to find someone who will love me for exactly who I am pretending to be.
Got a cat the other day. Had to swerve to get it, but I got it!
Some of the best things in life...are mistakes.
Never trust a married guys opinion of who`s hot. It`s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
I can take care of my drunk friends, so the responsibility of having children doesn`t worry me.
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great,I know this is too much for u,so here is a shortcut-Just think about me
My boys cleaned out my car and now my change is missing. Little do they know, it costs exactly $3.63 to turn our wifi back on.
Sometime you have to hand it to short people ... because they can`t reach.
Life is so hard when you have twenty TV shows to watch.
My friends made fun of me for buying this flamethrower, but at least I don`t have to shovel snow this weekend.
i have noticed you notice me noticing you