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“Do you have a charger?” is the new “Could I bum a cigarette?”
When you write misspelled backwards it`s misspelled.
My kids refuses to play with the Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission
Don`t do drugs. Become a Pop star and they give `em to you FOR FREE!
Fox canceled Cops. So I guess if I want to stay current on what my family is up to now, I`ll have to turn to Facebook.
“Too much milk left need more cereal” always leads to “too much cereal need more milk”
Get off your high horse. Seriously, it’s not safe to ride any animal that’s stoned.
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
Here’s a joke for all you mind readers out there…
Never take advice from people on the Internet. Not even this.
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.
The club sandwich, for when a knuckle sandwich just isn`t enough...