Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why do TV shows say "May contain nudity"? It either does or doesn`t. Don`t make me watch the entire thing and find out the hard way it doesn`t....
No one is more confident than a drunk girl wearing a guy’s hat sideways.
I wanna be skinny but I also want to have pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner, you feel me?
Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, “here, fill this out”.
for some reason my plans to workout never work out
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
If I`m in your house and you have bookshelves... Be prepared to see me turning statues and bending down books while looking for your lair.
Single women come home, see what`s in the fridge and go to bed...while married women come home see what`s in the bed and go to the fridge.
The push-up bra: the strangely acceptable female equivalent of a rolled up sock stuffed in men`s underwear.
I hate to be one of those who post cliffhangers but...
The trick is not let anyone know how really weird you are until it’s too late to back out.
Life gave me onions ... Onionade sucks.
Sometimes the problem with reality is the lack of background music.
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!
Describe yourself in 3 words". "Not good at following instructions"