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The women at this gym act like nobody’s ever tried taking their measurements before.
Life can be like Chess sometimes. I don`t know how to play Chess.
Saw a midget go into a store while wearing a KKK outfit and thought... That`s a little racist.
The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
Men are trained from birth that happiness comes from either boobs or a bottle.
Let`s party like there`s no tomorrow and call in sick if there is one.
Anything is possible with the right attitude and a sledgehammer
God created the world in 7 days but took 9 months to create me. So clearly I’m a big deal...
I found the key to happiness ... Stay away from a$$holes.
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
Guy at Dairy Queen was yelling at everybody because they didn`t have waffle cones but they had pictures of waffle cones. That guy was me.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
I`ve decided to start taking more supplements: calcium pills for my bones, ginkgo pills for my memory, milk thistle for my liver, ginkgo pills for my memory...
I`m going to invent a cleaning product that kills .1% of all germs and bacteria. It doesn`t sound very effective, but I`m going to get it placed right next to all the other cleaning products that kill 99.9% of all germs and bacteria.