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The only thing I love more than cake is cakes.
Change is hard. Seriously have you ever tried to bite a nickel?
If by sexy you mean me licking the donut icing off my fingers then yes I can be damn sexy.
You`ve never been truly drunk until you`ve had to use a barstool as a walker to get home.
Barbie has an awful lot of things for a girl who`s knees don`t bend.
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
McDonald’s Management Rule #23: “The employee with the most severe accent or speech impediment must work the drive-thru at all times.”
Chase you? ... B!tch please, I don`t even chase my liquor.
There are days when everything goes perfectly. . I wonder what those are like?
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
thumbs up if you pee on the side of the toilet to make it quiet.
Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I`ll be watching you. - Dog
"Do you have a charger?" is the new "Could I bum a cigarette?"
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
If A-B-C-D didn`t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn`t have to be so rushed.