Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nobody really owns tupperware. We are all just really borrowing it from one another.
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
So what if Jesus turned water into wine... I turned a whole student loan into beer once. your move Jesus.
The only thing worse than a male chauvinistic pig is a woman that won’t do as she is told
"Wow, that Hungry Man TV dinner sure lives up to its name!" said no hungry man ever.
"This isn`t my first rodeo" -Guy at his second rodeo
Oops, just bought vodka instead of milk again
This century is already 15% over.
Using Romeo & Juliet to express how in love you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
Even if women came with an instructions manual men still wouldn`t read it.
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon.
You win some, you lose some...unless you`re me, then you win them all.
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.
Lets just skip the fight and go right to the make-up sex.