Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m pretty sure if I put what was actually on my mind as my Facebook status, all my friends would delete me.
When riding in an elevator, be sure to push all the buttons. Your fellow riders will appreciate the fact that you thought of everyone.
Are you reading this from a toilet? I’m writing this from one.
Twerking is just shaking your a$$? Why did we need a new word? A$$-shaking has served us well for centuries.
Alcohol free beer is like ... orgasm free sex
That moment when you are having a conversation in your head and you realize you are making faces that go along with the silent conversation.
is spending my children´s inheritance.
You can`t make me believe there`s a shortage of jobs in this country when there are 23 cash registers at WalMart and only 3 cashiers.
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
Dear future husband, here’s a few things you need to know If you want to be my one and only all my life. I will not be an ex wife .. only a widow
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver.
I`ve been hiding from exercise ... I`m in the fitness protection program.
TIP OF THE DAY: If you can`t afford porn, just turn on tennis and shut your eyes.
Texting while sitting at a stop light: Helping save lives every day by preventing T-bone collisions with drivers who run red lights. Because of that extra minute it takes for you to realize that the light has turned green, the driver who has no regard for the safety of others entering the intersection legally, can now safely clear the intersection without causing a collision. For this, we thank you.
Just signed a $320,000, nine year deal with my therapist.