Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t be afraid to laugh at yourself you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
Got a problem with me? I’m pretty sure a status on Facebook won’t fix it.
My friend works at the morgue and apparently tonight is open mike night.
Wife: You always blame other people for your problems. Me: Yeah, and whose fault is that?
When your life flashes before your eyes does that include the black outs? That`d be cool. Like your life but with never before seen footage.
Yes it may sound childish but if it glows in the dark I still get freaking exited.
Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn’t that make life fair?
Fun thing to do: Before leaving someone`s house, ask them if you can take a roll of toilet paper "to go"
High-five a veteran today.
I wish I can start a new diet, but there`s a bunch of old diets I haven`t finish.
Dear Stomach: You`re bored, not hungry. Shut up.
I`m getting tired of having to write "Sent from my iPhone" at the end of all my e-mails. Maybe I should just get an iPhone.
The funniest thing about being sober is to realize you were so drunk last night you were texting all night with a calculator.
To help reduce cost, this status was typed in china.