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Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like Facebook in real life.
when my swear jar gets full I`m going to use the money to buy a f*cking puppy
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
CAMPING TIP: If you get lost in the woods, a compass can help you get lost more North.
Your things are terrific.
I`m high as a kite! Let me rephrase that: I`m stuck in a tree.
Cleavage is like the sun. You can look, but don’t stare.. Unless you’re wearing sunglasses.
Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally.
Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Facebook. “…you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave…”
There are only two types of honest people in this world.....small children and drunk people.
Someone tore off my warning label when I was born.
They`re teaching kids that abstinence is 100% more effective in preventing pregnancy than birth control, try telling that one to Jesus`s mother!
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.
Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger ... at least one of them anyway.
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.