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The best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives people more crazy then seeing someone actually having a good life.
I just gave my ex a big hug which can only mean one thing. That`s right I have the flu and I love sharing.
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
Gonna start a new job tomorow at a archaelogical site, I know I`m gonna dig it.
Imagine this: You`re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers `Bless you` and hangs up.
Gym update: not there
was on the treadmill for over an hour and I must say it is much easier with roller blades
The first guy who persuaded a blind guy to wear sunglasses, must have been a hell of a salesman.
Sometimes just to annoy my therapist, I ask him, "So how does my lack of progress make you feel?"
Life is hard, it`s even harder when your stupid.
I hate to be one of those who post cliffhangers but...
Before I lose my phone, end up naked, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Independence Day.
The fact that this peanut butter jar states that it "Contains Peanuts" makes me extremely nervous for the human race.
My dog takes so long to sh!t I can`t believe he`s not out there playing Candy Crush.
Oops, I must have put my personalities on "shuffle"