Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My girlfriend said that I should use the term `make love` instead of `f*ck.` What the make love is she talking about?
My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I`m fearful of her college days.
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines.
Let`s party like there`s no tomorrow and call in sick if there is one.
They have all those non-smoking laws in public places so let’s now all focus on passing some perfume/cologne usage limits.
I`m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
Imagine being naked in a room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you. That is the life of a dog.
You know you are getting old when people keep telling you how young you look.
I don`t think the lady who just shushed a baby in the library knows how babies work
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin ... I don’t even know what that means, but now I’m hungry.
Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I`m wide awake. Not sure who won.
Sure thing.... follow me... I`ll show you the fastest way to get to nowhere.
Your 15 second video will start after this 30 min. commercial...
Don`t EVER break a pinky promise. That sh!t is LEGIT.