Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you tell someone your Birthday and they automatically know your astrological sign, run as fast as you can away from them.
Designated drivers just drive me to drink.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners.
I think Tampax and Hershey`s should get together and offer a super pack....
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I say unto myself I SHALL NEVER... USE APPLE MAPS AGAIN...
If I had a dollar for everytime i thought of you, I would start thinking about you!
Don`t be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem.
Be good to your nieces and nephews. One day you`ll need them to smuggle alcohol into your nursing home.
The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isn’t enough motivation to get off the couch.
My pet unicorn told me that I was being delusional again. :/
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.
What do women say when they are actually fine?
I’ll need a weekend to recover from this weekend.
A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
Just because nobody complains doesn`t mean all parachutes are perfect.