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You never really know how many inches you`re gonna get or how long it`ll last. Snow, maybe.
To me, suicide seems selfish. For all I know, someone else might want to kill me
Every time you have McDonald’s as a kid, it’s a victory. Every time you have it as an adult, it’s a defeat.
I’m not shy. I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
Legos are practice for when you get older & buy Ikea furniture
Relationship status – table for one but drinks for two.
Walking past a new employee`s desk & yelling, "Do you think it`s a good idea to be surfing porn on your first day?" will never get old.
Bars are Weird Its the only Business that kicks you out for buying TOO much of their Product
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
I`ll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones
Reason number 347 why I hate Facebook: A guy from high school posted 11 new photos all with the caption "me"
Walmart needs observation decks.
I wouldn`t say I "missed" your call.
I just watched Back to the Future Part II and not once did I see a person walking around staring at their smartphone.