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It is days like today that I am glad that we all don`t live in a Yellow Submarine. Well at least not in the same one.
SCIENCE FACT: If you close your eyes, you won`t be able to see.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
It`s too bad parallel lines never meet because they have so much in common.
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, “It’s okay, I think we lost him.”
I don`t mind being wrong, as long as nobody knows.
Whatever it is ... I didn´t do it!
It’s never too late for a coffee. After all it’s always morning somewhere in the world.
Love makes the world go round, but alcohol makes it go round twice as fast!
Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.
You might think you`re smart until you try using someone else`s microwave.
From all these shows I`ve watched it seems like snipers lay down a lot of the day....I`d probably be pretty good at that job.
The beeping noise from microwave is always 100x’s louder at night.
In other news millions of facebook user suddenly got their law degree
There`s a thin line between "I should write a status about that" and "I should talk to my therapist about that"....