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My entire life is a “you had to be there” moment.
My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
That moment when you offer somebody a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she`s not your friend anymore
Sure, we can be friends. I get to be Chandler.
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
I`m always extra nice to the weird kid, so one day he`ll spare my life when he finally snaps.
Dodgeball, but with random people who don`t know that they are playing..............
Life is far too short to remove the USB safely.
your status deserves a standing ovation but I`m lazy I`ll just click `like`
It’s a good job Apple isn’t in charge of New Year. We’d all be expecting 2015 and get 2014S instead.
Helping my kid study for her geology exam, and apparently `hard` `classic` and `punk` are not the 3 different types of rock.
Hey babe, go to Google Earth, zoom in on your house. See that blue cap in the bushes? Hi!
Letting my dad play Angry Birds on my iPad is like showing a caveman fire.
The nice thing about living in the southern states is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense here.
Sometimes, my greatest accomplishment is just keeping my mouth shut.