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Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe.
Taking down my Christmas tree would probably just be a waste of time at this point.
I have to admit my heart broke a little when I heard the lady at Starbucks call the guy in line behind me "sweetie" too.
Remember when there was more important crap to do besides Facebook all day? Me neither.
One day you will die, but every other day you won’t. So that’s pretty great, right? ... Inspirational posts are hard.
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. ...I sure hope they let me back in Walmart.
When I order pizza online and there’s a “Notes” box I put “Ring bell, Cross moat, SLAY DRAGON”
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.
If I had a British accent, I`d never shut up.
Falling out of bed the fun way. Oh wait, there isn`t a fun way....
I won employee of the month!!!…. again! I love being self employed.
You want to see Americans become activists? Cancel a TV show they like.
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.