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Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
There’s both a McDonald’s and a blood pressure machine in this Walmart. Circle of life.
My friend is a magician, she can turn anything into an argument.
I used to have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lived 150 miles away
Remember that one time the cops pulled you over, then let you go because they had a more interesting call. You are welcome.
Somedays I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running.
Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
whoo hoo...I have new gutters. Please try and keep your mind out of them.
Why are clothes so expensive? I shouldn`t have to pay so much to not be naked. Other people should pay me not to be naked.
You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout I`m telling you why...we have our own problems and nobody cares about yours.
It`s fun to chant "Bloody Mary" three times into your car`s side mirror while driving at night and watch her jog to keep up
Just got back from a job fair. Very disappointed. They didn`t have one damn ride.
Ever notice your Christmas stocking has just enough room for chocolates and a bottle of wine. Coincidence? I don`t think soooo.
Hi you`ve reached my voicemail,,, Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn`t be done over text
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.