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My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it`s there to stab potential taco thieves.
It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
In terms of procrastination, I had a very productive day.
I consider anything that doesn`t fit in the dishwasher to be for one time use.
You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.
Stretch pants are like Wonder Bras for your butt cheeks
About to stick a pin in your voodoo doll.... Brace yourself.
I wish Monday was a figment of my imagination.
Since it is the day to give thanks, I would like to say once again...you`re welcome.
Oops, just bought vodka instead of milk again
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
Just because I know I`m a "Good looking, extremely intelligent, funny as hell, sexy ass, Motherf#ker" doesn`t mean I`m "Conceited"...Im more like a "Realist", that just so happens to be very good with adjectives!...A "Bad-Ass Realist", that is!
Me: Well hello again. I knew you`d be back. I seem to have that effect on people Fed Ex: Just sign here so I can leave
scientific fact: never tell a woman she`s crazy unless you want to see crazy.