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Sorry I`m late, the floor was lava
"Ho, Ho, Ho!" -Santa Claus/Pimp, doing a head count.
Kids may be a gift, but I like playing with the box it came in.
Hmmmm, thats odd. . . .According to this height / weight chart. . . . I`m too short.
I hope we`re friends until we die and then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the sh!t out of people.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks. I`m out in public. Thanks.
In case of fire, do not use the elevator. Use water...
If my calculations are correct, I can retire about 5 years after I die.
Every day is St. Patrick`s Day when you`re a drunk who likes to pinch people.
Vodka isn`t the answer... but it makes you forget the question :P
A woman’s anger is like a check engine light; there’s no pleasant way to determine what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.
I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.
I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories