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People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way.
I`m introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce.
People who say `expresso` instead of `espresso,` may I axe you to please stop? Thanx.
Maybe Mondays are not that bad. Maybe its your job that sucks balls.
The word bed looks like a bed.
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they looked.
Did you know you have the right to remain silent even when you`re not being arrested?
loosing weight tip: turn your head to the left then to the right. Do this everytime you are offered food.
I will kill you with kindness even if I have to beat the shit out of you.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry
Nice try speed bumps, it`s a rental.
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books
My IQ? ... With google or without?
I`ll sell my broken watch when the time is right.