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Why do baby clothes have pockets?
Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
If you think you`re bad with words, imagine the first guy to say "There there" when consoling someone
All this time I thought PTA stood for Parents to Avoid
My wife is complaining that I never buy her jewelry. In my defense, I didn`t even know she sold jewelry.
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
Dodgeball, but with random people who don`t know that they are playing..............
I wish I can start a new diet, but there`s a bunch of old diets I haven`t finish.
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
I have high blood pressure, but my dogs don`t. So, from now on I`m only getting upset about squirrels and mailmen.
When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighbor’s trash so you don’t get robbed.
I was always a believer in evolution....then I spent an hour at Walmart and now I`m not so sure
I will vote for Donald Trump just to hear him tell Obama he`s fired!!
Welcome to fight club..., you may now kiss the bride.