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We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
If I could be anyone else in the whole world, I would still be me so that I wouldn`t have to buy new clothes.
You’re going to make some cats very happy one day.
Sunglasses allow you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like facebook in real life.
This post is just for you.
Coworker drank the last of the coffee and now he`s going to the clinic for a `work related` injury.
’twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was screaming ... cuz I went into the wrong house.
If you’re a size 0 we shouldn’t be able to see you.
I bet acting like azzholes on the Internet all day wasn`t where most of us visioned our lives to be right now.
I hate it when people like their own statuses * At this point you like your status for dramatic effect*
"With a stroke of a pen your name can live on forever in a quote!... Unknown,
I just bought a medical alert bracelet that says ... "Probably just sh!tfaced."
Five second rule? Pfft. What`s the point of having an immune system if you`re not going to use it?
Some days you`re the Titanic, some days you`re the iceberg and some days you`re that guy who hit the propeller on the way down.