Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I never make stupid mistakes ... only very clever ones
My hobbies include working out, staying fit, eating healthy, and lying.
That awkward moment when you finally realize what your rice krispies are saying to you.
If everything goes as planned, tonight I shall drink myself beautiful.
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks I should skip work tomorrow.
I like to go to the bar and flip peoples license plates upside down, then go home and listen to my scanner.
The color 9 is my favorite letter.
I`ve been single so long now I don`t remember what it`s like for someone to be mad at me for something I didn`t even know it did!
Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
Be the type of gentleman that holds the door open for your girl, but smacks her ass as she walks in.
The longer I sit in this drive-thru, the more pennies I’m going to pay with.
Meaningless statistics are up 17% today
It takes patience to listen. It takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
People be like: "Awe baby you make me so happy." But the second you break up they be like, "finally happy."
Facebook is great, but I still miss the good old days of writing down my random thoughts and sliding them into stranger`s pockets.