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cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
The next time there`s an awkward silence, try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
´s status message is better than yours
sorry but your password must contain an "uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin"
Sorry I can’t make it to your party tonight. I have to get up really early tomorrow afternoon.
why hello there stalker! Enjoying my profile?(=
Stupidity should be painful...really!!!
For most things there’s MasterCard For everything else there’s Vodka
Water is life; without it we wouldn’t have coffee, whiskey or beer.
Acting like a mature adult is super easy if you hate having fun.
Sometimes I want to comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don’t wanna have to explain why I’m in your ‘Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am.
Just seen this girl walk into a lamp post! I could have stopped her but that wouldn`t have been funny would it
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be handcuffed next to you saying that was fun
6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married