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People like you are the reason why the middle finger was invented
Holiday Shopping Tip #112:Next time you see someone with their arms full of bags looking around a parking lot while pointing and clicking their horn button, help them out and start pushing your horn button too!
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you’ll get what you want.
I don`t really want to make bad choices; but I`m always late, and all the good choices are already taken..
You know how people dread going to the dentist? I feel that way about getting out of bed.
!f yhu T@k yk d!$, then dont talk to me.
My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark.
You know what the cheapest meat is? Deer balls ... They`re under a buck
I’m not a biologist but I’m pretty sure the difference between a moth and a butterfly is that a moth is really ugly.
I burn bridges to keep those crazy bastards from following me.
There`s a word for people like you and that word is "leave."
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
Ladies and Gentleman, I`ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There`s never enough beer.
You know you had a good night when your first call the next morning is from the bank making sure your card wasn`t stolen.
The trick to farting in an elevator is wearing a suit. No one ever suspects the guy in the suit.