Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just want to read, have a snack, then take a nap. Basically, I just want to be in kindergarten again.
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
I`ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him the picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: "Wtf Dude, you`re 23."
When googling something, I always use Caps Lock so that the people from Google know it`s urgent.
I wish the guy who made the vacuum cord would chat with the guys that make phone chargers.
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I`m always ready for bed.
Looking back, it was a good thing I was too wasted to fire up the chainsaw.
What if the stickers are the only thing Made In China?
My fridge is so full of beer ... I`m going to have to drink my way back to the food or starve.
When a pizza guy comes to my door, I like to answer wearing the same uniform as him and holding a pizza.....and then insist that he called me
What`s cardio, and can I eat it?
I got a job at Bath and Body Works just so I can tell people to smell my finger...
I am going to open "The Karma Cafe" There will be no menus though. You will get what you deserve!
Whenever I see a celebrity photobomb, I`m like, that`s so relatable. I too constantly ruin moments and think I`m more fun than I actually am
If you`re sad/single/both on valentines day just remember you can buy 40 chicken nuggets at McDonald`s for $8.99