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Yes I have a dirty mind ... And you`re on it!
Relationship status: Don`t tell me to calm down! You called a stormtrooper a robot!
I`m ashamed of what I did for a Klondike bar.
Doing absolutely nothing on the weekends has started to feel more fun than actually going out.
Auctioneers are proof white guys could rap if they tried hard enough.
I`m not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it’s strapped to the top of someone’s car.
The fastest way to get someone to call you back is to take a shower.
I hate it when Hippos fall on me when walking home from school... :D
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn’t that make life fair?
Every time I hear the phrase, "Fire at will!", I can`t help but wonder, "What did Will do?!"
This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
They should just block cell phone service in movie theaters. Problem solved.
What I lack in vocabulary, I make up for in…you know...stuff...and...things...
Whoever said "Just showing up is half the battle" (a) didn`t understand battles and (b) probably died quickly after showing up.