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What idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
It`s just a mater of time before bathrooms will eventually be called Selfie Rooms
If your lawyer has a ponytail, you`re going to jail
I`m introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce.
Caterpillars have the ideal life. They eat a lot and then sleep for a while and wake up beautiful.
Sure, we can be friends. I get to be Chandler.
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me OCD I`d have 27 dollars and 15 cents.
Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
We`re all here because we`re not all there...
You think seven years is bad for breaking a mirror? Try breaking a condom.
I dig, she digs, he digs, they dig, we dig. its not a good poem but its really deep.
Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.
Without coffee, Iām just a really tall 2 year old.
Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life ... Avoiding them
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.