Daily Silly Status

If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?

Jack Frost go away, come again another day. I need some sun, I need some sand, I need an island & a band. I`m bored with you & tired of the cold, so go away your getting old. Bring on the sun at one hundred degrees, some coconut oil & pina coladas please

Wanted: Someone to hand feed me Cheetos so my fingers don`t get orange..... P.S. No weirdos.

When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.

I’m considering becoming a mind reader ... What are your thoughts?

I`ve never said "in all seriousness" and actually meant it.

Ohh sh!t, my b!tch button is stuck.

Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.

I`m not homophobic, I love my house!

You know you`re broke when your bank flags deposits as suspicious activity.

Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.

I`m right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?

"Better to be pissed off than pissed on!" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I`m not angry or covered in piss.

We got an extra day this year. Why did it have to be a Monday?

Some days it´s not worth chewing through the straps.