Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...
common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
Ever gotten that awkward feeling? ..like the one when you realize you`re chewing on a BORROWED pencil?
My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We`ll see about that.
Seems like we would be just fine with about half as many types of pasta
We all have that one person we forever regret giving our phone number to.
Don`t half a$$ it. It`s not a real nap unless you take your pants off.
I AM doing something with my life. It’s called screwing around.
As I slowly ran my finger down her G string I thought to myself, this is a nice guitar.
Man I love watching women`s curling in the Olympics. It`s the only time I get to drink beer while cheering on women sweeping and no one slaps me.
A stress ball, made of concrete, and to throw at the person who`s stressing you out.
iTunes got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.
is at the park. Unless you’re my boss, in which case, I’m at work.
I accidentally opened the fitness app on my phone for the first time ever. It just began pointing at me & laughing.