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I`m horrible with women. Probably because I only know like 3 shades of gray.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life.
Before I die I`m going to eat a bag of popcorn kernels. My cremation should be spectacular.
We should`ve let the guy who named oranges keep naming other stuff.
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something
We`re up to Fast n Furious #6. Shouldn`t they just create a weekly TV series?
I use meditation and yoga to handle stress...Just kidding, I pop pills for that sh!t.
Relationship status – table for one but drinks for two.
I`m the opposite of psychic. I don`t even know what I`m thinking! ;)
Telling people your phone is gonna die, But you really just don’t want to text them.
Due to an unforeseen error during last night`s love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today
Clearly skinny jeans are easier to obtain than skinny genes
I don’t necessarily believe in karma, but I’m gonna be extra careful crossing the street after this weekend.
I wouldn`t want to fly Virgin. Who`d want to fly an airline that doesn`t go all the way?