Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I always read my wife`s Horoscope to see what kind of day I`M going to have...!!
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
Some of the nicest women you`ll meet on Facebook are men.
One of these days I`m going to get help for my procrastination problem.
You know your phone can take pictures of other people too right? Just checking.
I always wonder if the people sitting near me at church every Sunday are unsettled by the fact that I take my communion like a shot of cheap vodka because I`m still in a party mode
If it doesn`t include antidepressants, they shouldn`t call it a Happy Meal.
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. It’s giving payment when payment is due that I seem to struggle with.
I went to my local shop for a paper the other day. A guy out of no where started to throw eggs, cream and milk at me. I thought to myself how dairy?
Dear middle finger, Thank you for sticking up for me.
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
I`m pretty sure if you watched a movie of my life backwards it probably would be about a guy who refills beer cans and puts them in the fridge.
If you ever think someone’s too cute to talk to just remember that they poop too.
My dad use to take me to the circus to see the clowns, freakshows and the bearded lady. Now... I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.
Ice skating is just walking in cursive.