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I`ve been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We`ll all be dead soon anyway.
You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they`re trying on clothes in the fitting room.
I`m at an age where I no longer want to marry a doctor for his money, but rather for the prescription medications he can provide.
I’m a lonely Status. I wish more people liked me.
When I`m in an elevator with a stranger I generally hold their hand to let them know that they`re safe
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, then why the heck is there a song about it?
If you`ve never actually got dressed, got in your car & pretended to drive "to work" to get a chick to leave your house then you`re not me.
Tattoos are an expensive and painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification.
Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who`s not interested.
Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild
If a girl picks an iron in monopoly you know she`s a keeper
We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile. Then we’ll be new friends all over again.
Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.