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I wish my mind had a delete button.
My boss hates "yes" men and I have to agree with him.
Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
I feel like thereβs something missing in my life and I donβt know if itβs a person, a dog, or just a pizza.
Akward Moment Is When Your Twin Sister Calls You Ugly(:
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
Still don`t understand why you can`t end a company-wide email with, `Later b*tches.`
Making fun of someone you`re angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead
Glad McDonald`s don`t serve hotdogs, I don`t think I could order a McWeiner with a straight face.
if a guy tells you you`re ugly ; he wants you, if a girl tells you your ugly; she`s jealouse, if you a kid tells you your`re ugly..... you`re ugly.
Is it annoying when people answer their own questions? Yes it is. Do I wish they would stop? Absolutely.
For lent I`m giving up sex, wait I`m not Catholic. Whoa, that was close
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.
To any ex-military that live on my street I apologize for whatever messages we may be sending, 2yo has discovered light switches