Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can stop lifting weights now; it’s actually your personality that nobody likes.
You know vacation should be over when all you do is sit around naked, drinking fruity malt liquor beverages
At long last, I`ve finished my research into the effect alcohol has on physical movement.....The results were, quite frankly, staggering.
Sorry that most of my hilarious jokes are borderline inappropriate. And by sorry, I mean you`re welcome.
I gauge a person’s wealth by the level of protection on their iPhone. No case, huge salary.
I can`t believe the music that kids listen to now-a-days! What ever happened to wholesome music like "Push It" and "Me So Horny"?
We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes
One day, people are gonna write songs about the nap I`m about to take.
Most problems can be solved with nudity.
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
If someone doesn`t respond to your text within 5 minutes, they obviously don`t love you anymore. Probably never did, react accordingly.
I`m making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I`m accurate, how do you spell your name again?
If it wasn`t for physics and law enforcement, I`d be unstoppable.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. Then they are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
All these years and I still don`t understand why they didn`t put Kevin Bacon in Grease.