Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I think I will start calling my wife "My Customer" since she is always right...
"Three blind mice" is probably the most popular nursery rhyme about animal cruelty
Figure it out people. It’s a 4-way stop sign not a woman.
I think Facebook is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks.
You can`t make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them & hope they panic & give in.
Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for stupid people.
I don’t care if we don’t talk, your existence still pisses me off.
Most days the best thing about my job is that my chair spins
You can never really say `what`s on your mind` when you have family members on your Facebook.
I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn`t recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
More funny statuses will be posted here soon
That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too.
Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
I didn’t give you the finger...you earned it.
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren’t in the database.