Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
Maybe the reason Uncle Phil hated Will was because the first thing Will gave him was a $3700 cab ride bill from Philly to Bel-Air.
My resolution for the New Year is to find more situations where it`s acceptable to wear a bathrobe out in public
What about a To-Don`t List?
I wonder if Alex Trebek’s tombstone will say β€˜Who was the host of Jeopardy?’
I`m glad I`ve got boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you’ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief.
When I was a kid... No wait. I still do that.
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
I`m going to switch my car insurance from Geico to Allstate, then to Statefarm, then back to Geico. If my calculations are correct, they should owe me $837
Boss just announced she is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I.
It`s a good thing the gas station is open today...... I still have time to do my Christmas shopping.
It’s not what you wear; it’s how you take it off.
Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?