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Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts..
I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
My credit rating is so bad I got turned down for a magazine subscription.
It`s so hard to find obedient minions
Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body!
Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
Damn you auto correct mind your business.
I hate bugs that fly, jump, crawl, dougie, twerk, 2 step, all that crap.
A house is not a home until you can find all light switches in the dark.
Why am I always right but people still ignore me...?
You know what I like about people? Their dogs.
If your girlfriend has $15 and you have $30, your girlfriend actually has $45.
Frozen water balloon fights... not a good idea.
Women.Some men undermine, disrespect and consider them weak,forgeting the countless spanks they got from their mothers
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.