Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not upset because it`s Monday, I`m upset because I have to wear pants
One man`s trash is another man`s profile picture.
Happiness is the journey, not the destination, and when you reach your destination, ie; bottom of a beer, you must embark on a new journey, ie; get another beer........
I don`t know what I would do without you, but I bet it`s awesome.
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
My local hairdresser just got arrested for selling drugs. Unbelievable! I`ve been her customer for 10 years and had no clue she was a hairdresser!
Answering my phone and saying... FBI fraud division. Has really cut down on the telemarketers.
i dont like ling distance relationships so i move the fridge to my room
It`s gonna be hotter than Billy Ray Cyrus after watching his daughters performance on the VMA`s tomorrow!
24 hours in a day.. 24 beers in a case.. coincidence?
Do watch out for elderly neighbours in the heat wave. They`re liable to trap you for hours and talk about the weather.
You’d think my password was “yourmom” because my computer just told me it was too easy.
There was no bonus fry at the bottom of the bag. But the story has a happy ending. I found it later in my sports bra.
Milk Duds: When you want some candy but also crave a dislocated jaw
Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.