Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Never look back. That’s where all the monsters are.
We can operate a robot on another planet, but yet I`m still struggling to get this vending machine to take my wrinkled dollar.
I`m looking for a girlfriend that likes me for my money, but is really bad at math...
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding… that the other person is a complete idiot!
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now I’m heading north to start a new life.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
I’m tired of things costing money.
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
Admit it, at some point in time you’ve tried to see if you had superpowers.
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them...
When I`m in a good mood I act like I`m I`m in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
Please no one tell me what happens on the NFL today; I`m still on Season 8.
My phone tried to autocorrect "f*cking" to "f*ck king," and I was like hell yeah I am.
Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?
No thanks, Inspirational guy, but I am only on Facebook for the jokes and the meltdowns.