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Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
I`ve always wondered how the job application process at Hooters works. Do they give you a bra and orange shorts and say, "Here, can you fill these both out"?
Do you know who invented the Knock Knock joke? I don`t know either, but whoever did should get a no bell prize.
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper quietly...."You can see me???"
So far my bracket is perfect! I can`t wait to fill the rest of it in.
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
I`ll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That`s what this paper says.
The one thing you never wanna hear when your father catches you watching porn is... "Scoot over."
To save time, lets just assume I am never wrong ;)
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.
I want to meet the guy at Hewlett Packard who decides how many minutes of strange noises their printers make before printing 1 page.
I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning.
If Iām ever murdered, I have no doubt that my chalk outline would include my phone in my hand.