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I`m changing my voicemail greeting to: Please hang up and text me, thanks. ;)
Summer is real cool until every f*ckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell.
I wish the media and politicians would stop jumping to delusions.
pudding... thats always a funny word
I found out why I`m still single. Apparently, you have to go outside and let people see you.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great subway sandwiches.
is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I´m awesome..
Sometimes I go on Google Earth and just spin the sh!t out of the world & pretend I`m making everyone really dizzy.
I just saw a woman at Walmart with March Madness teeth ... She was down to the final four.
I will be back in 5 minutes, if I am not then please read this again! :D
"People should just mind their own business," probably the funniest thing I`ve ever read on a social networking site.
Chip clips are for quitters.
Good friends do not let you do stupid things….. alone :)
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be handcuffed next to you saying that was fun
Ran into a former supervisor from my last job today, kept driving.