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I think I need to return my GPS...no matter what it can`t help me find easy street
FINALLY home from work! So, yea...if your phone number is on your profile...I will be drunk dialing you in about 30 minutes or so.
I`m not sure what my spirit animal is, but I`m sure it has Rabies.
Netflix doesn’t care if u showered or not
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
I decided to tell the kids that Santa is made up but nighttime home invasions are very real.
If the conversation gets too serious and uncomfortable, take your pants off.
I still water my dead plants every 3 months. Just in case...
Auctioneers are proof white guys could rap if they tried hard enough.
Wait, there`s a "wrong hole"?
I`m so ghetto.... I had lights and water bill in my name before the age of 3..
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
I should win an Oscar for acting like I`m busy at work.
Seriously, dude...Is there a name for what`s wrong with you?
Cops are allowed to tell women they have the right to remain silent, but when I do it I wind up with a fork in my leg.